Advice for Men from Women WORTH Pursuing…
I may not agree with everything D’Andra says here, but I applaud her for suggesting that men may want to romance a woman…if they really want her.
Here’s Doing it Digitally…Best Dating Practices with D’Andra. After you read it I hope you’ll tell me what you think in the comments below.
“Most of my advice about male/female relationships is geared towards women in general because, why wouldn’t it…I am female!
However, over the years I have received many questions and had many conversations with men asking me for advice about good conduct and best courtship practices when trying to win a worthy woman’s heart. So today’s column is on best manners when dating. Now, please understand, these are men who are sincere about meeting the woman of their dreams, and have come to the point in their life where this is a priority—usually because they have decided it’s time to start a family and/or are just tired of the “one night stand” bar scene.
Now men, we women do appreciate timeless acts of chivalry. In our hearts most of us are old-fashioned and want you to cherish us just as much as you would your brand new Aston Martin. Here are some “starter tips” that women appreciate in men that would urge them to consider a long-term relationship instead of a “shot and roll!” (You figure it out!)
1. When asking a woman for a date, call her on the phone or ask her for the date in person.
2. Once the date is agreed upon, drive to her house and pick her up by walking to her door and escorting her back to the car and opening the car door for her.
3. Speaking of doors, open all of them and hold them all for her. *Theonly exception when a man enters a door before a woman is in a revolving door. The man walks in front of the woman in order to push the door so the woman doesn’t have to.
4. Slide out her chair for her when being seated.
5. Stand anytime she gets up. This means when you are at a table and she excuses herself you stand and pull out her chair, or if you are not seated next to her you stand up in your chair holding your napkin in front of you. When she returns to the table repeat the process! It doesn’t matter if there are two people or ten people at the table, you still stand up. *And if it is not your date or your friend, and the woman is a girlfriend or wife of another man at the table then you still stand up and make the husband or your friend look like an idiot for not standing up for his wife! You will set the example of perfect gentlemanly behavior.
6. On a first date particularly, and if you really like the woman, bring a token of affection (flowers are perfect)!
7. Cell phones- ugh! Do I even need to discuss this? You are trying to woo the woman of your dreams! Turn off your cell phone!!! Receiving texts and calls during a date does not make you look popular or important, it just tells your date she is less important than whoever is on the phone (and in her mind it is ALWAYS another woman) and she doesn’t deserve your full attention.
8. Dating banter 101 – We will discuss this further in later columns, but keep it light and fun. Ask questions but don’t talk to her breasts, yes, we have to mention that! And, don’t talk about your ex and please do not make it the Spanish Inquisition. Dates are always interviews, but don’t be so obvious! It should be a very softinterview in the beginning. Plus the less you learn at first, the more you get to discover on subsequent dates.
9. Compliment your date! Women love compliments! She most likely was as excited or more excited than you about the date, and spent hours trying to make herself look pretty. Her closet is most certainly riddled with “outfit rejects” that she will spend at least 30 minutes hanging up the next day! Complimenting her will make her feel more confident, and she will be more comfortable during the date, and you will too!
10. Always introduce your date if you encounter friends, family or business acquaintances. If you don’t, you look like a conceited egomaniac jerk to your date and everyone else. Plus, it makes the woman feel automatically insecure that you are not proud to be out with her.
11. Don’t show off or be too flashy. Don’t speak of the $1million you made in the stock market yesterday, or the fact that you just ordered the latest Maserati. *And, don’t argue with the waiter about the choice of wine, the year, or the fact that they aren’t carrying that year—happened to me on the first date after he told me he made $1million in the stock market the day before. That first date was my last! The right type of girl won’t be impressed withyour boasting. She will think your compensating for something. No one likes arrogance. Make a great date but be HUMBLE. Humility is a character trait of greatness!
12. Last but not least, the often disputed question…who pays?? Women’s lib can take credit for messing this up for sure—another article for another day. If you ask a woman on a date you should pay. The same goes for inviting a friend out for the first time etc. If you do the inviting you do the paying. *A side note, I have been invited to lunch a few times by other people and they sat there at the end of the meal, check on the table and expected me to pay whenthey called and asked me to lunch??? Well, let’s just say that was the last time I ever had lunch with them. On a first date, to avoid any awkwardness of you both reaching for your wallet at the end of the meal, you may want to surprise her and pay without being obvious. A good tip is to give the waiter your credit card at the start of the evening. It avoids an embarrassing end of night moment. Bonus- you look like you thought ahead and appreciate her!
13. At the end of a date, walk her to the door, say what a wonderful time you had and kiss her on the cheek…that is it! You may also want to ask her for another date or tell her you will call her that week. If you want a weekend date you should call by Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest, but I will discuss this in more detail another time as well.
This week it looks like I have come down hard on rules of dating for men, but I’m not finished. This is just a start! Don’t worry, men, I’m coming after the women next!
Women, which of these really matter to you? And men, how many of these do you do?
I’d love to hear your answers!
D’Andra Simmons is a businesswoman and philanthropist. She is the founder of Hard Night Good Morning Skincare and an active volunteer for the Dallas community serving on the Advisory Board of Booker T. Washington School for the Performing Arts, volunteering with the Junior League of Dallas, AIDS Services of Dallas or Cattle Baron’s Ball for the American Cancer Society.