IS IT LOVE? by Jane | Aug 26, 2014 | Relationships | 30 comments September is a big month for weddings, which got me thinking… [polldaddy poll=8268155] 30 Comments Jane McGarry on August 26, 2014 at 10:12 am I would love to hear your thoughts about the answers you gave! You can comment here:) Liz on August 26, 2014 at 12:43 pm I totally agree with Linda. I’m getting re married soon and I am in my 60s and need to protect what I plan to give me kids and he should protect what he has saved for his kids. It just makes sense to have something in writing. On the other hand my daughter recently got married at 25 and they were so starry eyed in love I cant imagine the subject would ever come up. Plus they are starting out with very little. Its a good question since so many people are remarrying later in life now. My Dad remarried at 85 and boy do I wish he had made her sign a prenup! Jane McGarry on August 26, 2014 at 1:18 pm THANKS FOR THE COMMENTS LIZ, I REALLY ENJOYED READING THEM AND YOU MAKE SOME GREAT POINTS. Kat on August 26, 2014 at 11:09 am Entering into a 2nd marriage at 49 & he at 58, we had grown & almost grown children to consider when it came to our finances. We agreed before nuptials, to keep my sons’ college trust funds and some of his money in separate accounts, even though we knew the TX (50/50) laws. This allowed each of us to independently make financial decisions for our own children. If there was not enough trust for a partner to follow through with one’s wishes, should one pass away, then they should not have ever married. I suppose I may have wanted a very specific pre-nup or will, if the amount of money was huge. Jane McGarry on August 26, 2014 at 11:10 am That makes a lot of sense to me Kat. Thanks for sharing! Linda G Willis on August 26, 2014 at 12:17 pm For a second or late life marriage, I think that a pre-nup is necessary. When there are children involved, we need to protect their inheritance. Jane McGarry on August 26, 2014 at 12:22 pm Great point Linda. Dona on August 26, 2014 at 4:08 pm I totally agree that a late in life marriage can be necessary to assure your own assests are protected . Especially if you have been through an agonizing previous divorce that left you worse than when it began. That can happen even when it doesn’t seem possible . I married almost 4 months ago at age 69 . My husband and I both had previously gone through similar situations after lengthy marriages . We have agreed that divorce is not an option . We knew each a year before we married and feel confident that we WILL make this work . We both want to spend the last of our best years together . Jane McGarry on August 26, 2014 at 5:35 pm My absolute best to you Dona! Lori on August 26, 2014 at 3:52 pm I think a pre-nup very much depends on the people and circumstances involved. There is no right or wrong answer in my mind. Jane McGarry on August 26, 2014 at 5:34 pm Like lots of things Lori. Don on August 26, 2014 at 4:16 pm To me asking for a Pre-Nup is like saying ” Just In Case This Marriage Isn’t What We Thought It’d Be!” In other words…we might change our minds down the road & prefer someone else. Jane McGarry on August 26, 2014 at 5:34 pm Yeah, it can give it that feel Don 🙁 firstname.lastname@example.org on August 26, 2014 at 4:45 pm Jane, Back in the day, when it was standard for a woman to take the man’s last name, the purpose was for the woman to be able to spend money in the man’s name because she had no right to do that on her own. He was basically handing her the checkbook, and she was promising him she would be frugal with his money as if it was hers. This is a trust issue. On the other hand, my dad died when I was 4. My mother remarried when I was 10. She died when I was 18, and my stepdad squandered all of my inheritance. He sold a piece of property, now worth over $1M, for $10 and other considerations according to the court record. I believe in marriage for life, but sometimes it is necessary to make sure that greed for money is not a motivating factor for divorce or to prevent it from destroying relationships. Therefore, I have voted neutral. Jane McGarry on August 26, 2014 at 5:34 pm Thanks for sharing your perspective! Michael Honea on August 26, 2014 at 5:56 pm Totally agree with you Jane! that was the way I was raise back in the day..it was all about trust.I guess now you hook up for love and money…. Jane McGarry on August 26, 2014 at 7:08 pm Well hopefully not Michael 🙂 Steven Hunter on August 26, 2014 at 11:00 pm Michael Honea what are you doing on RealJane when you are suppose to be working. Lol Anne on August 26, 2014 at 4:56 pm As a single mom, I worked hard to raise my kids and give them a nice home to live in. I paid my home off early. When I married, I made him sign a prenup. Otherwise, my paid off house would have been half his…same with my new car and all my savings. Turns out….it was a good thing I did. Jane McGarry on August 26, 2014 at 5:33 pm Sorry things turned out that way Anne, but it sounds like you were wise. Steven Hunter on August 26, 2014 at 10:54 pm In the state of Texas if it was yours before you were married it’s not considered community property. Jane McGarry on August 27, 2014 at 5:57 am True. Thanks Steven. Brenda on August 26, 2014 at 5:16 pm I voted neutral; however, I agree with the comments regarding older couples. Pre-nup is probably necessary when each partner has grown children (and assets) from a previous marriage. Jane McGarry on August 26, 2014 at 5:32 pm I agree Brenda, I thought a lot of good points were brought up about that. Belinda on August 26, 2014 at 7:24 pm I don’t go with the prenup idea . If older couples marry and they have children, then I think a change in the will should be done. Isn’t that good enough? Jane McGarry on August 26, 2014 at 8:44 pm Someone else mentioned that to me Belinda. Good point! Mark Moore on August 26, 2014 at 9:59 pm At 59 years old I would never consider getting married without a prenup. But I got married at 20 years old, still married and never have we even considered separate checking accounts, etc. and no issues over money. Jane McGarry on August 26, 2014 at 10:44 pm Does seem to be two different cases Mark. Lori Moon on August 27, 2014 at 9:12 am It’s called covering your assets. No question. Like the Nike slogan purports — JUST DO IT. Jane McGarry on August 27, 2014 at 9:18 am 🙂 Lori !