I don’t for one minute think what Ray Rice did was right.
I’ve heard some people say that some couples just live that way, fighting and making up. I don’t know. I’ve learned that it is a big world out there and I’m reluctant to judge without walking in someones’ shoes.
I generally believe both Rice and his wife have serious emotional and psychological issues and problems that I hope they can work on, for their own sakes and the sake of their families.
But the NFL…in some ways I think what the NFL did was just as wrong, if not more so, than Rice.
I will give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they really did try to get to the bottom of the Rice mess. Maybe it’s just a tragic error in judgement; they thought they had the truth and left it at that. But something in me can find it difficult to believe that had the NFL really wanted to obtain the elevator video they could not have. The NFL is made up of some of the most powerful people in the country.
Did they just have other things to tend to that they thought were more important and not give the Rice incident the attention it deserved?
Did they hope the Rice situation would go away? Because Rice was a valuable, popular player? Because someone genuinely liked Rice and didn’t want to pursue the incident any further?
Did the powerful owners and leaders of the NFL go into the Rice investigation with a stereotyping “it’s just another highly paid athlete mess……” attitude?
All I know is this. I think the NFL did a disservice to football fans, youngsters who look up to the players, the integrity of the game and to Rice himself.
Had the NFL aggressively pursued finding and watching the video, they might have taken appropriate action at the time. They might have suspended Rice for a year or more and required him to take part in a proven treatment program.
As it it, Rice is out of a job. He is losing sponsorships right and left. I fear the odds that he, on his own, will undertake the kind of treatment plan that might truly provide healing for him and his family are slim.
And NFL has damaged itself by appearing to either cover up or ignore a brutal incident involving one of it’s key players.
I can’t help wonder what former outstanding players and men like Troy Aikman and Roger Staubach think of this mess.
I agree Jane…..
It’s the equivalent of abandoning someone that may need your help desperately …
They used him until it was no longer PC for then to be associated with him….
His actions are abhorrent and nothing excuses that but knowing and understanding the reasons he did what he did are just as important as knowing that it happened. ..
This is probably not the first time he was physical with his wife or then girlfriend….
Let’s find the root of the problem and help this man so the cycle doesn’t continue….
The NFL was dead wrong in their abandonment strategy…..IMHO
You said it better than I Stoney, thanks.
Does Jerry Jones get a pass from media scrutiny or is poor judgement only extend to players? What would A Bon fide hero like Staubach think and feel about Jones judgement at the least in getting involved in such a sleazy situation? For myself I believe that there is generally fire when one smells smoke and of course there has long been that lingering question as to who Janine Turner’ s daughter’s father is. Long list of male suspects named Jones it seems. Gene Jones seems to a high tolerance for humiliation or Jerry has an ironclad pre nup.
I’m tempted to agree and say “Yes, poor Rice, let’s break the cycle…” etc. But I just can’t. I spent 11 years training in Tae Kwon Do. From the time I was 13 until I was 16 I trained with grown men, because there were no girls or women for me to train with. I had to pull rank (make them do push ups) on the adult men I trained with to get them to hit me, properly, when we sparred. In retrospect I can understand why a grown man would be hesitant to fight a 13 year old girl. But probably the most important lesson I gained was an understanding of just how much stronger men are than women, on average. And that power comes with responsibility. Rice could have killed her without even meaning too. And I can’t watch that video and feel any sympathy for him whatsoever. To quote Margaret Atwood: Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.
Totally understand your point of view Abbie and I appreciate your taking the time to share it. I’m always looking to learn. Sincerely, thanks, Jane.
Good article Jane!!!! You are a great writer. Miss you on the news!!!
T.
Thank you Tracey, and thanks for subscribing!
First of all I was raised different. I was taught to respect women, elders, people of authority, and never hit a woman. Just walk away. Seriously I’m not in as physical shape as Mr.Rice and if I were to hit a woman I’d probably kill her. I agree what the NFL did was wrong. They should have waited until all details were in. What I’m more upset with is the Baltimore Ravens. Ray came to them first. Explained what he had done( maybe not to the degree of the punch), but he came to them first. They accepepted it and gave him a contract extension. Then cut him and voided his contract. Once again I’d never hit a woman because I was raised by great upstanding parents.
Totally understand and appreciate your comment Robert.
I don’t want to be a jerk, but I’m more concerned about the multiple grammar/spelling mistakes of this article than the actual subject matter.
I’d appreciate it if you would let me know what they are Jacqueline. Thanks, Jane
The comprehension, composition, grammar, spelling of this post is mind numbing. Jane it would behoove you to go back to school or simply reading a teleprompter.
You forgot to use “and” in your list. 🙂
Hi Jane, judging from your comments it’s a good thing I made my living thinking and talking, not writing;) Hope you’ll bear with me. Of course, there’s always spellcheck like everybody uses lol. Thanks for commenting and taking time to read my piece, Jane
Best of luck as a fledgling writer. There are online classes you might explore. I find it admirable when people try to move beyond their norm.
Do those classes teach you how to use the word and? 🙂
Laurie. It took me all of two minutes to identify you. You should have come to the party. You wouldn’t have had to dress up at all.
See I’m not John D. Silly goose xD.
You’re right. Grammar and spelling are more important than domestic abuse.
Presentation and articulation to communicate a point of view is ‘Real Jane’s’ goal. If properly executed you can change the world, if done improperly … well, basically you walk away from the table empty handed.
Hey, if you wouldn’t mind could you give me a list of the mistakes you found? I’m genuinely curious. Thanks, Jane
You’re silly. 🙂
Laurie. She has never received anything, money, “free stuff” or even a meal from any post. Period.
I totally agree with you Jane. I agree that what he did was wrong but I don’t think the punishment fits the crime. It always seems the rules change based on the media coverage. Whatever the public wants… he was told what his punishment was after the incident and warned what the consequences would be if it happened again. I don’t think it’s right to change his punishment because of pressure from the public. Whatever happened to second chances?
That’s why the NFL’s handling of it disappoints me Sue. Thanks for commenting.
I can’t imagine I’m in the minority here, but why does a man who KNOCKED A WOMAN UNCONSCIOUS deserve a 2nd chance at his job??? Not only was this assault {which I’m sure violates all sorts of NFL rules}, but I’m fairly sure that NFL players have an ethics clause they have to adhere to. If my husband violates his work rules, he is terminated. Period. Show up with alcohol on your breath to chopper out to the Gulf, buh – bye. Now the guy may have a legitimate alcohol problem but it is not the employer’s responsibility to fix that. Why should the NFL be any different? Why should we feel badly that “now he can’t get the help he needs”? His responsibility. His wife’s responsibility. Not ours. Not the NFL. I agree completely that the NFL mishandled the situation. He should have been terminated immediately. But to talk about 2nd chances for someone who potentially is a wife-beater at worst and knocked out a woman once at best? No ma’am. No second chances here. You hit me once, you’re gone. And so the same should apply to Rice. I am SO tired of these players who have been given amazing God-given talent and then completely squander it by acting a fool, whether that be through drugs, overspending, or abuse. They’ve never had real consequences so they are surprised when the judge slams down his/her gavel? It’s pathetic. I realize I’m rambling, so I’ll wrap it up with this :: as poorly handled as this was, the NFL could do a great service in providing counseling/post-trauma abuse to his wife. Let him figure out what he needs to do but give her the option. Based on her recent posts and statements, it sadly seems highly unlikely that she would accept it, but at least it would be there.
Thanks for your comment Meagan. I like getting different points of view. I did not say I thought Rice should be given a second chance, or that he shouldn’t. I only said I thought the NFL handled the situation miserably for all concerned. Thank you again for commenting, Jane
when i saw the initial video released those many months ago and saw rice dragging his fiance’ out of the elevator – not picking her up and carrying her as a loving man might do – my first thought was to wonder where the video from inside the elevator is.
i was just being logical.
any serious investigation by the NFL would’ve started there.
it’s NOT logical to think the NFL investigative powers didn’t work to acquire the elevator video.
they’re a lot of things, perhaps, but ‘stupid’ isn’t one of them.
people knew.
people who should be fired.
a self-righteous commissioner, who will punish a player for voicing Christian beliefs not shared by the league, apparently has tolerance for things for which he should be ashamed.
IN MY OPINION:
the NFL knew.
Baltimore knew.
the commissioner knew.
Very thoughtful comments Randy, thanks so much.
I see your point Jane but these players should be held to a zero tolerance from the minute they are hired. They should know that if they commit any domestic violence they will lose their job. The NFL should make this a part of their contract. I can’t believe that this Rice guy did not think of what was going to happen if he punched his wife out. I bet you I would lose my job if I punched out my wife. Of course everyone knows that I could never get someone to marry me. Love reading you Jane.
Thanks so much for reading and commenting Robert. I appreciate it!
I don’t they the NFL handled the situation right at all and Rice does not deserve another chance as far as I am concerned. I don’t think she should have hit him either, especially since Rice is a big guy and he could have just stopped her with his body instead of punching her. Also, you are doing a fabulous job with your website AND with your writing/editing!!!! To one dog lover from another! SuzieQ
It was immediately clear that his emphasis wasn’t everyone nevertheless
the outdoorsmen and horse down below. You could have noticed that backpacking hammocks are woodland helpful and wondered how that will probably be.
You may come across an animal that is wild, or you might get lost in to the wild.
Our dialogue may look into outfits and sneakers, asleep tools, tents, and campfires.